On Day 2 I made it through the 1pm slump. I made it through the 3pm slump. I made it through delicious smells of food wafting all around me. “What didn’t I make it through?” you ask. The drive from work to teaching.
I was leaving Job A and heading towards Job B, which is teaching yoga about 45 minutes away. As I was plugging along in stop and go traffic I decided I needed to crack open juice 4 of 6. It was a grapefruit, concoction with a lot of spices thrown in the mix and I was more than happy to down it before I led my power yogis through their class. It was then that the incident began – suddenly in the midst of traffic I spilled my juice all over my lap. I felt the sweet nutrients soaking into my black leggings, saw the delightful golden liquid that was sustaining my existence slipping into the seat beneath me. Panic began to ensue.
Also, as I was desperate to not show up to my class smelling like a pepper shoved inside a grapefruit I scrambled through my truck to locate an absorbent piece of cloth from the back of the cab. Luckily I keep such things handy all over my truck so I grabbed a towel and the situation began to be resolved. Yes I was down a quarter of my juice, but I was going to be ok. I began to jump back on my positive juice wagon. What a funny thing that happened, me spilling juice all over myself, how silly!
I turned up my tunes and looked down to ensure that I had sopped up all the juice when:
My initial reaction was irritation. Who had put something so large in the middle of the road that I could run into it? What a fool.
Then it began to sink in… ohhhh. I had plowed into the back of a silver SUV… and none too gently. Things began to race through my head, I was in the middle of stop and go traffic on the highway. Maybe the driver in front of me hadn’t noticed? Maybe that hadn’t really happened at all? Maybe I was experiencing a hallucination?
Nope, the woman started to get out, so I flicked on my hazard lights and piled shamefully out of my car, smelling of pepper and grapefruit I wondered how insane this woman would think I was when I tried to explain what caused the accident.
“I’m so sorry,” seemed to be the only thing I was capable of saying. ”I’m really sorry. I have insurance.”
Like two girls we peered between the bumpers of our vehicles to seriously access the only thing we were capable of accessing – cosmetic damage.
“Is it alright?” I asked her.
“I don’t know. Is that a scratch?”
I shrugged. My truck was fine, my truck could withstand anything, and this woman’s vehicle seemed fine considering how aggressively I had rammed into it… I on the other hand was beginning to get tunnel vision. The delicate balance that was my nutrient to adrenaline ratio had been horribly upset and I was becoming nauseous. I suddenly began to wonder if I was going to faint into the very irritated oncoming traffic that was on either side of us.
“Let me give you my information,” I mumbled gripping at my truck for support. ”Just one moment.”
There was beeping and shouting and my car was hot, the radio was still on, I was pretty sure I was going to vomit.
I achingly handed over my business card and told my new friend to please call me if she had any trouble and I would be more than happy to have my insurance take care of it. I couldn’t even think. I knew exactly one thing: if I didn’t get inside my truck and finish the rest of my juice with the A/C on I was going to plummet to my blacktop death in the middle of the highway.
She smiled and nodded (she was possibly the most understanding person a yogi could hope to run into) and we were on our way. But it was then and there that I decided that I was done juicing. That was the end of my experience. I was dizzy and tired and due to no fault of the cleanse at all I was having a crisis.
I’m not condemning juice cleanses, I’ve done them successfully and have a lot of friends who love them, but here is my advice (besides opening your juice before you put your car in Drive) – if you have a very active lifestyle (say teaching yoga…) then take your cleanse with a vacation. I was fine when I was able to nap… but when I had to just keep moving with no option to stop all day my brain shut down and I was forced to literally stop in my tracks.
So how did my detox go? Why don’t you catch me next time to chat about that. Day 1 was awesome, half of Day 2 was doable, but a car accident is where I draw the line.
Better luck next time, I guess!