Dear Rude Woman In The Whole Foods Line,
I’m sorry that you were raised to believe that you’re better than the lady ringing you up; but not as sorry as I am for the whipped boyfriend you’re embarrassing right now. I’m sorry that you feel it’s necessary to blatantly call the cashier an idiot and then speak in only partially hushed tones to said Whipped Boyfriend regarding the injustice you are now facing. I totally see your point: Why on earth would this nice young lady think that your two slices of pizza were a part of the order before you when you placed them in front of the rest of this other gentleman’s groceries in an effort to hustle him through the line? You’re so put upon.
I’m glad to see that you at least have that designer bag to demonstrate how classy you are. You were obviously raised right. No, no, don’t mind me, please continue to berate the Whole Foods staff, it in no way, shape or form offends me. I can tell from your name brand shoes that you deserve the best imaginable service. Frankly I feel uncomfortable standing by and watching you be treated so unjustly.
I look forward to you getting your groceries and heading home. And I get no joy out of the fact that you are coming back in your next life as a mistreated Whole Foods employee who will be berated by rude entitled snobs for 8-hours at a time.
Hope you enjoy the kale!