Have you ever had that moment where you stop and realize that you could have had a child in the amount of time it’s been since you talked to one of your BFF’s?
I have… it is, frankly, unnerving. Not only because I don’t much care for children and I get nervous about ever conceiving them at all – but also, because that means that I’ve let 9 months of my life go by without speaking to someone who makes me bust up laughing and knows some of the most embarrassing stories in the world about me. I mean… at the very least what if I’ve become that friend who so-and-so is never going to meet so she might as well tell the story about when I pooped my pants in kindergarten?! Who want’s to be that person!?
Well, when I find myself hysterically worrying about friendships I realize this:
There are some people in this world you can go months and months without speaking to, but you know (in at least a part of your heart or mind every single second) that they are supporting you. Even in those months of silence they are still there for you, quietly having your back from afar.
And when you get back on the horn it takes some catching up – a little back story on your most recent relationships and some chatter about your new job or the city you moved to a couple month’s back, but the conversation is still the same. You know you can tell them what you really think, you know they’ll tell you what they really think, there’s still that friendship and love that was there when you lived around the corner or across the hall or 30-minutes away.
Friendships shouldn’t be heavy, they shouldn’t be wearisome, they shouldn’t have to revolve around a constant checking up and checking in. It can be as simple as a 45-minute phone call or a just a text: “How’s the weather in nyc??“
Good friends are omnipresent even in silence. They are still funny after 9 months without speaking, they are still understanding and interested in what the F is up with you.
The world is a pretty big place, and even if you live in your childhood home (or close to it) there’s a good chance your friends will have migrated elsewhere. But the thing that bonds you (and no, that’s not high school or college or your former employer) remains the same: You still love each other. You want all the best things in the world for each other. You still want to talk in weird voices and maybe sip on some wine while you talk about how adult you’ve become.
Friendships extend across state lines, across oceans, across years… put simply, they just extend.
So the next time you find yourself concerned that your friend has had a baby, give her a call and check to see. Chances are she’s just as excited to talk to you (whether it’s about diapers or her time on the force).
To all my best buds in the world: I love you, guys! And thanks for being the most bomb awesome pals a gal could ever have.